CONTENT WARNINGS:
Mature Themes: This game contains intense descriptions of anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation. These sections are clearly marked and the player is able to skip them by choosing the path that leads outside the cave to the sun. 

Additional Themes that may cause distress:
- Descriptions of sleep paralysis, including a realistic nightmare 
- Unreality and dissociation moments where the player is not sure which way to go to the exit and loss of their playable avatar. (Right arrows indicate to press the right key to continue to the next dialogue in these cases)


SUMMARY:
This bitsy game is a visual essay about when I pursued my childhood dream of becoming an animator and all of the hardships and joy that came with it.


CONTROLS:
Use the Arrow Keys (Up, Down, Left, and Right) to move your light bulb avatar.


HINTS: 
Look for flashing sprites to continue to the next section (usually this is shown as an arrow, but sometimes it may be other pictures). You can talk to sprites by bumping into them with the arrow keys. 


DEV NOTES:
I made this game during another dark period in my life as a way to reflect on where I've been and where I'd like to go next. I encourage anyone who's also having dark thoughts to reach out to the people you love. If you don't have anyone to talk to, you can always call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255 which is available 24/7. You can also find more information and additional resources on their website: https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org.

To all of you who are in the darkness. Stay strong. You're a survivor too. <3


Comments

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I loved this!!

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I´m really really scared, the game it´s lovely ( not in a normal way), but i feel really bad...(thanks for sharing this story)

its okay, we all feel like that sometimes. you will do great things!

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Hey, I think this is a cool game. I really can feel what the main character felt in this game. We have the same problem in life, feel useless, questioning the same thing if we should suicide or not. So, once again, the story of this game is cool!

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Hey Kurus, I hope you'll keep fighting your depression. <3 It can seem impossible at times, but it is possible to find moments of happiness again. <3 Take care out there!

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Beautiful game, Joanie!! This is so powerful, and well made. I appreciate your willingness to share something so personal <3

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Amazing, more people should play this

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this hit me hard; thank you for sharing it

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Lovely game. The simplicity of the art and the music allows the story to really consume the player. It all goes so well together, keep up the good work and I wish you the best.

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thank you for sharing this. your way of weaving a narrative is so compelling. and i really appreciated how you gave a warning and an exit option for the parts of the story that could be potentially distressing (if that's the right word?). it's a really thoughtful thing to do. wishing you happiness and good things :)

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this really resonated with me as a student in a game development program in college - they really teach crunch mentality in american schools and no one should have to go through so much suffering. thank you for sharing this!

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Stay strong out there! Always remember to give yourself time to breathe. <3

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my friend reblogged this onto my tumblr dash and saw it was a bitsy game so i just had to play it...

fantastic work! particularly appreciate that you give the player an "exit" before proceeding into the darker parts of the story, it's really smart and kind of you.

thank you so much for sharing your experiences in such a personal way. i cheered a little bit when at the end you accepted to move to seattle lol. 

i hope you're doing well. 

Thank you! I wanted to make sure no one would be made too uncomfortable by it. I know I have to be careful not to ingest too much depression-related media when I'm in the middle of a heavy episode myself. <3

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😭